Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Day 14: Eat dolphins, not war.

I have a confession to make: I almost just cried about not being able to find my vegan butter in the fridge.

It's not that I love the vegan butter. I almost cried more out of the frustration of not being able to find what I was looking for than for the actual butter. I think my personal black hole has moved from the dyer to the fridge.

I feel like I should tell you that I actually didn't cry because I didn't want to make that possibility a reality and something I'd have to live with for the rest of my life. I believe that brings my maturity level up to a... 3.5?

Today's reading [for those who have the book, probably no one, I'm actually a day behind] was all about animal protein and how it's soooo bad for you. Apparently all animals cause cancer. Okay, I generalize. But Kathy Freston is a huge pusher for the vegan, plant-based diet on the basis that you can get the same amount of protein from plants that you would get from animals, but without all the saturated fat, cholesterol, mercury and hormones found in the variety of animals we like to put between two sesame seed buns.

Who wouldn't want to eat that?! It's so cute!

Kathy Freston, of course, chooses all evidence that supports her agenda. Yes, it obviously makes sense that people with high protein diets are more prone to being fat. That's called America. But I just am not at a place where I can rule out eating animals all together. Why would God make pigs so delicious if they weren't meant to be eaten? God made rocks, which are not tasty, so we don't eat them. But if they're pretty, we wear them instead. God made animals so we can eat them and wear them! Genius!

If we didn't eat the animals, the world would be overpopulated by dolphins and dogs.

But seriously, I stopped eating meat a few months ago, not for my health [but now it is for my health, too] but for the sake of the planet and to boycott an industry that is producing and selling diseased and toxic meat that is so far beyond what God intended it to be. And because I now drive a Prius, which means I have to do all things green. I think that's written in the Owner's Manual somewhere.

Also, let me take a step back and clearly say that, no, I am not God. So I can't really project what God did or did not intend for us to do with the animals, besides put sweaters on them when they are cold.

It just seems every 5 hours there is a different study about what we can't / should / need to eat / abstain from / vomit / grow / make at home because it's healthy / harmful / wasteful / fun / and what Oprah does. 

This particular article was featured on CNN today about eating unprocessed foods, and it triggered my friend Ali to send me this lovely rant, entitled Can I just have lunch?

I feel like I have done a lot with my eating habits in the last year.  I mean, I eat actual meals that consist of more than chips or mac n' cheese, I spent over 100 at whole foods on Friday, I drink liquefied kale+water every morning, I listen to podcasts from nutritionists who tell me I need to be drinking high protein shakes and do drink them even though they taste like liquid frosting (wait till that CNN amish lady hears about that!), I watch Food Inc., I cut out meat, I read all day about if I'm going to grow a third boob from the insane amount of estrogen we intake because we cut out meat, I reintroduce meat but only super expensive good for you kind and only a few times a week, I read about how we can't really know the long term effects of soy products yet,  I watch the cove, I cut out dolphins which I never ate, which means I should cut out all fish which means I should cut out meat, I read about caffeine intake, nutrition labels, naturopathy, homeopathy sleep, gluten, flax seeds, toxins, my liver, plastic containers, microwaves, hydrogenated oils, I familiarize myself with local farms, orchards and butchers and their practices, I read the blog of the guy at the Oregonian who is documenting his new 1 month vegan lifestyle, I put unfiltered cranberry juice in my water, I grind up ginger and put it in water, I read ingredient labels of 5,790 different fake meat products, I take 1000 mg of calcium a day and 500 iu of vitamin D -- not to mention my multivitamin that makes me sick, I pee all day because I'm supposed to drink 15x my body weight in water a day, I drink tea that tastes like shit because someone somewhere in the world says dandelion (yeah that weed that ruins your grass) root is good for turning you into superwoman, I listen, I watch documentaries, I read books, I research claims, I doubt, I believe x 4000 because everyone is bothering me... and in the meantime... my life has become 100% about me. And although I am refining my shit so there is enough food for the whole world and for the bettering of the environment and to not support all these unethical farms and to encourage organic foods in hopes of someday driving down the price and for my health that has been corrupted by fast food nation... Seems my whole mind, all my time and my paycheck has gone into my fridge, into my stomach and then into the toilet.  Now before anyone jumps up to give me the Nobel peace prize I would just like to say with humility... you're welcome third world. 
And I thought I was the frustrated one with the missing vegan butter. [Btw, if found, you will be awarded with a hug and steamed broccoli.]

At the end of the day, we don't have all the answers as to what is right and what is wrong. That's is the flip side of having freedom, my friend.

Especially with this Internet, you are bound to find an article that supports whatever you decide to do. Honestly, for the comment I made before about how we don't eat rocks, I originally wanted to say sand. But it turns out you can eat sand and it's good for you!

However you choose to use your freedom to discover (or not, your choice) what sits well with you as far as how you live, eat, breathe, pee, I hope that your path leads to a place of inner peace rather than frustration.

Just don't try to eat my dog. She's old, has bad breath and sometimes poops herself. Basically, what I'll be in 60 years. 

Email me if you'd like the recipe for this dog cake. It's a crowd pleaser.

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