(Note: for those unfamiliar with the Jesus, this is a little play on Matthew 14:1-11)
Then Kathy was led by three friends into the night to be tempted by animal products, gluten, alcohol and sugar. After fasting 10 days and 10 nights, she was hungry. The tempter came to her and said, "Are you ready to order?"
Kathy answered, "Man does not live on bread alone, so I'll just have the tofu steaks and the veggie roll, please."
Then the night led her to the holy site of Drew Brees' post-Saints parade appearance, Lucy's. At the bar, one friend asked, "Do you want something?"
Kathy answered her, "I'll have half white wine and half sparking water." For it is also written, "Don't be a party pooper."
Again, the friends led her to the classiest place in all of New Orleans, the Goldmine, and showed her all the glorious people and dance moves in God's kingdom. Without prompting from anyone, Kathy knew she needed a beer.
After the musical delights of Miley Cyrus and the Black Eyed Peas, her buzz left her, as did the skeezy college boys, and the friends attended her into the cab.
Just another 10 more days to go...