I need a magazine...

... and to be on my own private toilet.

I'm sitting at my desk at work, and I totally feel like I could #2. So I get up to go to the toilet and I can't perform.

This is now happened 3 times. What the heck, body?

This is what I get for not eating any vegetables yesterday. Does guacamole count as a vegetable? And tortilla chips? 

If you hear applause coming from the bathroom, it's because I have accomplished something. Until then, I will wait for nature to call. 

Constipated Kathy