Day 12: Everyone Poops.

(Warning: If you are uncomfortable with talking about pooping or farting, you shouldn't read this. Also, if you are somewhat interested in dating me, I'm sorry but this will totally turn you off.)

The term "gluten" has been adopted into our vernacular lately, but most people don't really understand what it is or how it can possibly be unhealthy to eat.

Click HERE if you want to read more about gluten, or here's a simpler definition by Gluten-Free Girl's blog:

Gluten is the elastic protein in wheat, rye, and barley. Its elasticity is why French bread holds together, why angel-food cakes rise so high, and why H and H bagels in New York are so wonderfully doughy. Gluten is the glue that holds together baked goods and pasta. In fact, gluten comes from the same Latin root as glue. Think of gluten as the glue of wheat, rye, and barley.

Let me just say that not ALL people are affected by gluten. If you're not, wonderful. Continue enjoying your pizza, cupcakes and bagels. However, how do you know you're not affected by gluten if you don't eliminate it for a period of time to see how you respond?

I honestly didn't think gluten had any affect on me. I would say I had a high-gluten diet because I was always concerned with getting enough fiber. Why did I need lots of fiber? (Here goes the w.t.m.i. - way too much information...)

When I was a wee, little girl, I used to get constipation. (Haha... yes, it's funny. And constipation is a funny word.) I remember my mom having to come over and rub my back to get me to relax to poop.

 

I'm on the left with the look of consternation, I mean, constipation. 

I wish I was one of those people who enjoyed being on the toilet. For #1, it's not a problem. Easy breezy. But for #2, meh... I rather get it over with or, better yet, not poop!

But everyone, even Flat Kathy, poops.

As I learned more about nutrition (and used WebMD), I started paying attention to my fiber intake, knowing it'll help me with the BMs. Even with eat whole wheat bread and pasta, granola, oatmeal... you name it, it helped but there are times when it, frankly, still hurts.

Now that I haven't had gluten... let's just say, pooping ain't so bad.

Another weird body thing I have is something I have affectionally named TGS - Trapped Gas Syndrome.

Sometimes, after I eat, I get super painfully bloated. The annoying part is that the gas is TRAPPED! If you've ever been trapped somewhere, what do you do? You start banging on the walls and kicking things until you're released. That's exactly what the gas is doing to my digestive region.

Since I have cut out gluten, I haven't experienced TGS and it's amazing!

It'll be interesting to see what happens as I incorporate the items I am fasting from back into my diet. I may need you to pick me up a box of Gas-X before you take me out to dinner.

Day 11: The Temptation of Kathy

(Note: for those unfamiliar with the Jesus, this is a little play on Matthew 14:1-11)

Then Kathy was led by three friends into the night to be tempted by animal products, gluten, alcohol and sugar. After fasting 10 days and 10 nights, she was hungry. The tempter came to her and said, "Are you ready to order?"

Kathy answered, "Man does not live on bread alone, so I'll just have the tofu steaks and the veggie roll, please."

Then the night led her to the holy site of Drew Brees' post-Saints parade appearance, Lucy's. At the bar, one friend asked, "Do you want something?"

Kathy answered her, "I'll have half white wine and half sparking water." For it is also written, "Don't be a party pooper."

Again, the friends led her to the classiest place in all of New Orleans, the Goldmine, and showed her all the glorious people and dance moves in God's kingdom. Without prompting from anyone, Kathy knew she needed a beer.

After the musical delights of Miley Cyrus and the Black Eyed Peas, her buzz left her, as did the skeezy college boys, and the friends attended her into the cab.

Just another 10 more days to go...

Day 10: Jamie Oliver brings Good News!

What did you eat for lunch when you were in high school? 

I know some of your parents packed your lunches. Remember how obsessed people were with Lunchables? That little round pizza with red sauce that you got to spread with a red plastic stick. Yummy!

 Well, my parents liked to sleep in. So they never made my lunch. Even when I had a field trip to go on that required a bagged lunch, they would just buy one one of those pre-made wet sandwiches that comes in the clear, triangular container and call it a day.

By the time I got to high school, imagine how impressed I was when it was somehow "cool" to actually buy the school lunch. We would seriously race out of class (sometimes we'd get out of C4 early) so that we can be first in line. Now that I'm thinking about it, $1.75 is quite the steal for Taco Tuesday, Fried Chicken Wednesday or Friday's grilled cheese and gumbo. If only I still had my ID and school uniform, I could stop by for some cheap lunches. 

A friend of mine sent this video to me of Jamie Oliver presenting his TED wish:

"I wish for everyone to help create a strong, sustainable movement to educate every child about food, inspire families to cook again and empower people everywhere to fight obesity."

If you have time, I highly recommend watching this compelling presentation:





A few weeks ago I went to a talk about the Slow Food movement. Essentially, our culture has completely altered our lifestyle to accommodate for our easy access to fast food. Since we're no longer needed to spend that time preparing food, we can work longer and commit our time elsewhere. For those students lucky enough to be able to leave campus for lunch. Where did you end up going? Certainly not to your garden to pick out your fresh produce and toss together a lovely spring mix salad. (Maybe just my friend Lori, because she grew up on a farm.)

One of the problems I had with the Slow Food talk I attended was that we brought the fact that socio-economic status definitely affects households' access to good quality meats and produce but there was no discussion of how we can make it possible for everyone to have equal access to not only quality foods but to education. 

Living in New Orleans, I do realize that first we need to have just plain good ol' education for everyone. So, one thing at a time. 

But Jamie Oliver doesn't just bring up some very valid arguments but also brings valid responses and ways that we can help fight the epidemic of obesity and ignorance. 

This week, I had to think about different scripture passages that have changed my life. When I was preparing to go to Croatia to spend the summer talking about Jesus and why I love him, I was so moved by Romans 10:

"And how are they to hear without someone to proclaim him? And how are they to proclaim him unless they are sent? As it is written, 'How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!'"

Maybe I am making a stretch with this verse. But how will people know if there is no one to advocate for positive social change? 


Jamie Oliver must have some beautiful feet. 

Day 9: To Jack

It's been over a week and I haven't attempted to eat the flesh off my own arm out of sheer hunger and lack of red meat. Today I made a smoothie. You should be really impressed because I honestly cannot recall the last time I have used a blender for something other than making margaritas. So yes, at times it's been a challenge to be on this cleanse, especially when I walk into work today and there are petit fours, fudge brownies and girl scout cookies floating around the office.

 

Petit fours: tiny squares of scrumptious cake and icing

An aspect of this cleanse is the letting go of habits and comfort zones. Being compelled to and actually following through on making that one smoothie means, ladies and gentlemen, I am maturing! Finally! I'm serious. I've always been too lazy to pull out the blender and gather the necessary ingredients needed to make one. I used to just mix my protein powder with water and drink it all lumpy. The lumps will actually break up as I drink it and release clumps of dry powder into my mouth. Delicious. Or sometimes I'll actually go to Smoothie King, but when I end up paying $6 for it, I realize I could've just had dinner instead. 

  

  

  

 

 3 easy steps! (The 4th hard step is the cleaning.)

People think I'm ridiculous for choosing to do this cleanse. For choosing to create an inconvenience for myself and others and to challenge myself to eat and live in a way that it not the norm for me. 

Today I was reminded that there are times when you don't have the freedom to choose, but it happens to you. When Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans, lives and homes were literally displaced. The good folks here no longer had access to what made up their everyday lives: homes, jobs, family, friends, bars and Burger Orleans.

Today I had the pleasure of meeting Jack. Just yesterday, Project Homecoming started putting volunteers to work on his house. In the past 4 and a half years, he and his wife have been victims of contractor's fraud not once but twice. Unfortunately, this is too often the case with the homeowners we work with. Jack is also currently going through chemotherapy. 

When huge catastrophes strike your life in the form of a hurricane or cancer, you start to realize and recognize the many things you depend on that you may not have noticed before. But like this great city, Jack hasn't lost hope. Each day as volunteers from all over the country come to help rebuild this home, Jack knows he is one day closer to having a home that will be in better shape than before the storm. He deserves it. 

  

  

As we learn to let go of things in our lives, whether or not it is by choice, we always have the opportunity to rebuild better and stronger. 

For Jack, I hope the physical rebuilding of his home gives him the knowledge that the same is possible for his body and his health. 

For me, I am a lucky girl to be able to give up things so freely when there are still good people out there still waiting to get back what's been taken away. 

  

 

"So tonight you better stop and rebuild all your ruins, 

because peace and trust can win the day 

despite of all your losing." 

- led zeppelin 

Day 8: So what DO you eat?

I get asked that anytime I tell people about this cleanse. So I decided it would be fun to write down everything that I have eaten. And by fun, I mean I'm too tired to think of anything else right now.

So here is what I can remember:

A: apples, asparagus, almonds, agave nectar, avocados, artichoke,
     arugula, acorn squash

B: bananas, black eyed peas, brown rice, broccoli, baby corn, bamboo
     shoots, black beans, balsamic vinegar, blackberries, blueberries,
     barley, brazil nuts, brown rice pasta

C: carrots, corn, chickpeas, cilantro, cashews, cashew butter, celery,
     crackers (gluten-free), cabbage, collard greens

D: dates

E: edamame, eggplant, endive

F: flax seeds, filberts

G: green bell peppers, green beans, grapefruit, grapes, garlic,
     guacamole

H: herbal tea, hummus, hash browns

I: iced herbal tea

J:

K: kiwi

L: lentils, lettuce, Lara bars

M: mushrooms

N: nuts

O: okra, oatmeal, oranges, olives, onions

P: peas, potatoes, popcorn, pears, peaches, protein powder, pecans

Q: quinoa

R: red beans, red bell peppers, rice cakes, raspberries

S: sunflower seeds, sweet potatoes, strawberries, spinach, snow peas,
    salt, soy protein powder

T: tomatoes, tofu, tamale, tortillas chips, tabouleh, Tony
     Chachere's

U: unsweetened soy milk

V: vegetable stock, vegan butter, veggie sushi roll

W: white rice, water, water chestnuts, waffle, white beans

X: xantham gum

Y: yellow squash

Z: zucchini


Thinking about food is making me hungry.

So, you see. I have been able to eat. And this list is only what I have eaten and not what I can eat. There are certain items that I would love to eat but just aren't in season (like butternut squash, yum!). I think as I continue my cleanse, I will continue to update this list. I purchased an eggplant today, but I haven't eaten it, so it didn't make the cut. Better luck next week, eggplant. Okay, I'm incoherent. I need to practice what I blog (see Day 7).

Let me know if you think there are some things that I should try that I'm leaving out of my diet. 

Day 7: The rest is up to you.

Every week in Sunday School, I end our time with asking for prayer requests. One of my two attendees always asks us to pray for more sleep. Every week we pray for more sleep. Is anyone out there getting more sleep? You can thank us (and God).

In the spirit of multi-tasking, I was reading today's chapter while exercising. It was weird reading about how it is essential for us to get proper rest while I was breaking a sweat on the stationary bike. There were times I had to put the book down so I can focus all my energy into pedaling. Resting just doesn't come easy at times.

Last year, I started experiencing lower back pain. Somehow I'm a 60 year old stuck in a 25 year old's body. Luckily the weather was still warm, so I wore a lot of dresses because it was too painful for me to bend over and pull on a pair of pants. After many months of ignoring it, the weather turned cold and I needed to wear pants. So... I needed to see a doctor! The results came back and I had a herniated disk.

I was so frustrated with myself. Before finding out what the real cause of my pain was, I tried doing back and core strengthening exercises thinking the pain came from weak muscles. I was also getting back into a running routine to prep for 5k season. My mind was telling me that doing more work would somehow eliminate the pain. My body was telling me I needed to stop. 

In Sunday School, we talked about Sabbath one day. Sabbath isn't just about taking a break and giving God a little credit. It's about fully resting. How many of us fully rest from exerting our own efforts? How many of us ever really rest from interfering with creation? When we allow ourselves to stop what we are doing, we are more open to seeing new things, especially all the intricate ways that God is at work. He set the earth into motion and it will not stop just because we stop for a day. Unless, you're Atlas.

God also created this body of ours that, even while we rest, a million different functions continue, especially the ones that help rebuild and strengthen us. While we are sleeping, small people in white pods enter our body and engage in Body Wars.



Incredible. There's also all the medical benefits that comes with proper rest and relaxation:

• Our metabolic rate increases during deep sleep. Sleep your way to a smaller size! 
• Taking two vacations annually cuts the risk of heart attacks in women by 50%.
• Sleep raises levels of certain immune-system proteins to help us feel better when we get sick.
• Periods of decreased levels of activity allow the body to do the deeper recuperative work like rebuilding cells and tissues. 

So when you go to recharge your iPhones or Crackberries, think about the recharging you need for yourself. Your body will be so thankful after you wake up in a puddle of your own drool. That means you have rested well, my friend.

 

  

 

Good night and sleep tight.

Day 6: I need a drank.

Ironic that on the day of the cleanse focused on abstaining from alcohol, I could really use a drink. While my wet hair was still wrapped in its towel, my phone rang. It was Monday calling to tell me she hates me. It was really my dad calling to tell me I had a flat tire.

Why hello, Monday. Must you be such a bitch?

I had an important meeting to get to, so I put some air in it to hold me over a few hours. The meeting turned out to be one of those times I wanted to revert to being a child and just cry to drown out what's really going on. The advisory board that oversees the volunteer program I work for needed to discuss the viability of our program. The bottom line was we had no idea where we would get the money to fund our program after this year. This went on for two hours. We didn't even get to talk about my Amazing Race application ($1,000,000 is more than enough!) and the help I need to make my submission video. Maybe I'll put it on the next meeting's agenda.

After that, I took my car to get serviced. I was a few (thousand) miles past due for an oil change and tire rotation, so I added that to my service order. Of course the type of puncture in my tire is irreparable. There goes another $75 dollars. And I probably paid too much for all of this, because I am a girl and ignorant of anything that isn't related to food, clothing and stationary.

An hour and a half later, my day is back on track. I have 3 hours before my next meeting. As I merged onto the interstate, this insanely large red triangle with an exclamation point appears on my dashboard and my car is beeping at me. I'm driving a Toyota, so at this point anything can happen. So I take the approaching exit and pull onto the first side street I can. My car completely stalls.

After a few phone calls and just a couple of tears (I'm serious. I really had to suck it up and pull myself together, because my meeting is now an hour away!), my car had to be towed.

Another two-hour meeting later, I get dropped off at home. Now can I have a drink? Even you probably needed a drink to just get through my story. Oh right, I'm on this stupid cleanse. Sure some Celestial Seasoning chamomile tea will do. It's nothing like my usual mug of red wine, but absence does make the heart grow fonder.

I guess given the past few weeks we've had here in New Orleans celebrating the Saints winning the Super Bowl (Who Dat!), I could use a little detox.

It's not breaking news that alcohol has many affects on the body. Some good, some bad. Just read textsfromlastnight.com and you can decide for yourself.

In the next few weeks, it'll be interesting to see what it's like to go out with my friends while abstaining from alcohol. I guess I should confess that some of my poor decision-making doesn't stem from my drinking. It's just always much easier to cover up for my innately stupid self by blaming it on the a-a-a-a-alchohol.

P.S. Does anyone need a DD? Oh wait, I don't have a car. fml