I have to be up in about 4 hours, so I am just going to give a little snack of an update to hold you over until later.
Tonight, I worked on Ultra-feast! Tomorrow is my last day on the cleanse. For a few moments I thought about just going with some canned soup I had sitting in my desk drawer for my last day.
[I actually purchased two cans of soup, one lentil and one beans, that were vegan before I even decided to do this cleanse. Maybe the matrix is trying to tell me something.]
I didn't want to go out with a sad can of soup. I've worked too hard to have to write a blog about cans and eat out of it. I deserve a wonderful spread of food so I can enjoy my last true day of vegan, gluten-freedom, cleanservation. I channeled my inner Top Chef and this is what I came up with:
I know acorn squash is a fall item, but it was on sale. I'm a bargain shopper.
Savory and sweet with a bit of crunch. Nom nom nom.
If only I could make this a scratch 'n sniff.
Isn't this the prettiest smoothie?
I am looking forward to Ultra-feast and also to Ultra-sleep. Goodnight, pallies!
To my faithful 4 blog followers, I apologize for not posting yesterday. It was simply too beautiful of a Saturday to be spent indoors meticulously blogging away.
In the morning, I met with a small group of ladies who serve as mentors for my volunteers. We talked about hair shirts. No, I don't mean the sweaters that some well-follicly endowed men wear out at the beach.
If only I could run my fingers through that...
A hairshirt "is a coarse garment which intended to be worn next to the skin, thus keeping the wearer in a state of discomfort and constant awareness of the shirt's presence."
Why would I put on a hair shirt? Especially since I'm [thankfully] Asian and have very sparse body hair.
Well, a hair shirt was basically a method developed to create discomfort as an act of penance. It was a constant reminder to not become too comfortable and to stay focused. In Medieval times, and I'm sure the same goes for today, wearing a hair shirt wasn't an accepted social norm, and therefore, is significant in also being counter-cultural at the time.
I mean, think about our lives today. We seek what is most comfortable. How else do you explain the phenomenon of Crocs? They are by no means fashionable but everyone and their grandmother claims they are so comfortable and worth wearing in public.
Even 90120 isn't too cool for Crocs.
But also consider our movie theater seats, the snuggie, what we consider to be our comfort foods... we are creatures of comfort. Wearing a hair shirt just doesn't sound appealing to your average person, just like the idea of this Wellness Cleanse.
The funny thing is I don't feel like this cleanse is my hair shirt. Blogging is.
As much as I'd like to tell you that I'm naturally insightful with tidbits of funny anecdotes and am passionate about writing, I would be lying. Don't get me wrong. Keeping up with this blog isn't the bane of my existence. There are other things that are on the top of that list, like people who drive Hummers while talking on their cell phone.
But maintaining a blog that is cohesive and a healthy mixture of light-hearted humor and substance does require me to use parts of my brain and photo library that have been a little dusty. As you can tell from the time stamps on most of my posts, blogging is also a late night activity for me. It's replaced many hours of sleep and reality TV.
You should feel honored that I chose to blog throughout the week rather than watch the Bachelor finale. I'd choose you over Vienna any day.
Despite some changes to my schedule and habits, in the words of Mark Darcy, "But the thing is, what I'm trying to say, very inarticulately, is that, um, in fact, perhaps despite appearances, I like you, very much. Just as you are."
I'd like to be his hair shirt.
This blogging experience has helped me to gain much more from this cleanse than I otherwise would have. The reflection of the process and having to put into words and stories the effects of the cleanse on my body, my life and on others creates an experience greater than simply restricting myself of my comfort items. It has motivated me to stay focused and see the greater purpose, especially during those times I just want to eat a brownie or breakfast burrito or ice cream or queso or pizza or shrimp po-boy or bagel or mayonnaise...
So thanks blog, blog readers, the Internet and Al Gore for being my hair shirt.
My dog won't "follow" my blog but can totally relate on the hair shirt thing.
Sometimes it's difficult to make changes and accommodations in our lives for results that may not directly impact us. When we talk about doing things for the future, it's so easy to just eff it because we're not going to be around in the future anyway. I have a pretty good feeling that my life span is going to be short. Have you seen my driving?
I'm a true Asian woman.
When I was in 5th grade, I remember we were asked to fundraise for a playground that was going to be built after we would no longer be students there. Why would I contribute my money, which couldn't have totaled over $5, for something I would never benefit from? No, I didn't have bad parents who didn't teach me anything about being nice. I was 10.
Thankfully, for all of our sakes, I have grown since then. It took a while but I have a feeling I'm a little different from when I was 10. Just a little, though.
I'm by no means developing into Mother Teresa or anything like that. I don't think I have the bone structure to really pull off a nun's habit.
I'd like to think I could be totally selfless and not conform to what mainstream society and media shoves in our faces every day. Like I mentioned before, I am a woman. I love shopping. Not as a social thing, I like to shop alone. I'm sometimes embarrassed about how much money I can really spend on clothes, jewelry, food and those $10 DVDs at Target.
This past year I have been more diligent about becoming more aware of how much I actually consume, not just what I eat, but all the things that I buy. I have to stop myself and ask if this is really something I need and will use for more than 3 months. Does the product have a ridiculous amount of packaging that'll just end up as more landfill? Is this a store / company / brand I want to support?
It's Saturday, so while you're folding laundry or taking a break from TBS movie marathons, watch this very informative video by Annie Leonard called The Story of Stuff.
I'm sure some of you didn't watch it. But here are some astonishing statistics about our level of consumption and waste production as Americans:
Americans consist of 5% of the world's population, but we consume 30% of the world's resources and create 30% of the world's waste
99% of the products you buy now will not be used 6 months from now
Americans watch TV and shop 3-4 times more than Europeans
Americans produce 4.5 pounds of garbage each day
70 garbage cans of waste is actually produced for every one garbage can you fill at your home
Kathy Freston also talks about how wasteful the animal product industry is:
Animal agriculture causes almost 40% more greenhouse gas emissions than all the cars, trucks and planes in the world combined.
760 million tons of grain are fed to chicken, pigs and cattle each year while there are 850 million people in the world who are starving
The amount of feed it takes to create one 8-ounce steak could fill 40-50 bowls with cooked grains
If every American skipped one meal of chicken per week and substituted vegetables and grains, for example, the carbon dioxide savings would be the same as taking more than half a million cars off the U.S. roads. - Environmental Defense Fund
I know this is all very depressing. Especially because it's a beautiful weekend and nothing sounds better than firing up the grill in your new pair of jeggings with a diet strawberry limeade from Sonic in your hands.
But hark! There is hope.
Annie Leonard mentions this quote by Victor LeBeau:
Our enormously productive economy...demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfaction, our ego satisfaction, in consumption.... We need things consumed, burned up, replaced and discarded at an ever-accelerating rate.
Yes, a more conscience way of living and consuming will help slow down the rate at which our planet is falling apart and hopefully will help raise up those oppressed by the manner in which we blindly perpetuate this vicious cycle. But the 10 year old Kathy is still asking how does this affect her.
There is just something that is so sad about the notion that our spiritual satisfaction and ego satisfaction is decided upon by the things we buy.
I am totally guilty of this. I love shopping because I love the way I feel in new clothes. Why can't I love myself in the good pair of designer jeans I bought a few years ago?
I realize in looking through my blog, that I haven't included too much of what I have been eating. I'm sure you already know what mashed sweet potatoes look like, so I'll spare you the minutiae... just kidding.
Something new that I tried during the cleanse was making Indian daal or lentils as we, I mean, you white people call them. A friend of mine helped me out by giving me all the spices needed and the yellow lentils and the recipe.
In addition to the lentils and spices, you can add ginger, onions and tomatoes. Oh, you also add a glob of [vegan] butter at the end.
You basically simmer this down for 2 hours. Turn on the vent or your house will smell.
Ta-da! Brown mush that provides you with protein, iron, fiber and essential amino acids. I paired this with rice and potatoes and some corn tortillas, which I pretended was nice warm naan bread.
Did you watch The Office?
Kevin and I are so much alike. Not only is the resemblance uncanny but today I learned we have the same eating schedule:
First Breakfast
Second Breakfast
First Lunch
Second Lunch
First Dinner
Second Dinner
After-Dinner Delight
It's hard to believe there's time for anything else besides eating. I'm not even exaggerating, but I really do eat this often. Sometimes it's not a full meal for second breakfast, but there's definitely a first lunch at noon and a second lunch at 3:30. Then first dinner at 6 and second dinner at 9.
When I was teaching English in China, there was a bus that picked up all the teachers in the city early in the morning and dropped us off in the evening. One day, the one somewhat handsome of the Chinese teachers [okay, after 7 months your judgment starts to gets cloudy] turned around and said to me, "You're always eating," like me shoving food in my face every day on the bus was bothering him.
I wanted to pull a Chris Farley skit out of my ass and say, "LAY OFF ME. I'M STARVING!" But he's Chinese and they don't even know who the Beverly Hills Ninja is.
One thing this cleanse has helped me with is preparing my own meals. Don't get me wrong, I love to cook and this Yan Can Cook. I'm just a control freak so it's been annoying have to cook in my parents' [and grandma's] kitchen. It's not neat. There's Chinese herbs, soy sauce and baos everywhere. So it's made me have to stake a claim in the kitchen and just work with what's there.
Our oven has been broken, so I'm now a master toaster oven chef. This week I have roasted a combination of vegetables: eggplant, tomatoes, mushrooms, onions, bell peppers, asparagus, sweet potatoes. I just bought some zucchini and yellow squash today to roast over the weekend. Just coat them with some olive oil, sea salt, pepper and a generous helping of herbs.
I sometimes top it off with some pasta sauce, but it's not a necessity. Today I tried brown rice pasta for the first time and I actually really like it. I'm one of those people who thinks wheat pasta is not as good as regular pasta. For people who claim they can't taste a difference, something is seriously wrong with you. It's gritty. Pasta should not have that texture.
I also learned that I can eat an entire eggplant by myself during first lunch. I had to scrounge around for stuff at work for second lunch. So here are some snacks that I like to have:
These are perfect. Absolutely the best snack to carry around. Everyone loves them. And they really are filling.
Definitely not the same as munching on a bag of Zapps Salt & Pepper flavor but tasty enough to get me through to first and second lunch.
How awesome is it that the day that I buy these, Jillian totally plugs them on the Biggest Loser! So Lara Bars are my new best friends. When I was running, I had Clif bars all over the place. In my purse, in my car, in my desk [until a little mouse decided to try out my protein bars.] But these are not only all natural, but somehow they are gluten-free, dairy free, soy free, non-gmo, vegan and kosher! AND they are the only source of sweets, besides fruit and agave necter, that I have had! I have the chocolate, lemon bar, pecan pie, and today I picked up a coconut creme, chocolate mint and banana nut. They're my dessert.
Every day, even before the cleanse, I bring a grocery bag full of food to get me through the work day. What can I say? I'm a hungry, hungry hippo.
So I slipped up and had a one night stand with my ex-way of eating and now we're having a baby. Don't worry, all you pro-lifers out there. After some extensive counseling with Catholic Charities, I made the decision to keep it, even if it means delivering it all on my own.
You're probably asking yourselves how this happened. I'm ashamed to say it, but it involved money.
Pepperdine Alumni were in town doing a Habitat for Humanity build. I didn't participate in the build because I have pencil arms. The best opportunity for me to visit with fellow Waves and connect with this larger network was at a special dinner arranged for the group. Since I paid $30 for the meal, I wasn't just going to eat the house salad, which was course 2 out of 4.
I think at this point of the cleanse I have managed to still consume animal products, gluten, sugar and alcohol. The only thing I have really abstained from completely is caffeine. Decaf diet coke is okay, right?
I'm not really surprised that some of you are out there judging me about all of this. However, Kathy Freston does say, "Please don't sweat the small stuff. Just do the best you can. This cleanse is not about achieving some sort of purity or perfection." I leave that type of achievement up to Britney and Jamie Lynn Spears.
I caught up on my reading today.
One chapter was solely questions many people ask about the cleanse that are answered by Dr. Neal Barnard, who actually has his own Vegan Diet 21-Day Kick Start Plan. In a brazil nutshell, Dr. Vegan basically says everything we think we need animals for (iron, protein, calcium, fiber, car passengers) can be found through having a good plant-based diet. We have been ingrained to believe that these nutrients can only come through eating animals. Yes you will get protein and iron from that double whooper of yours, but you'll also get saturated fat and a grease stain on your shirt that's embarrassing to walk around with.
Eating a variety of fruits, vegetables and grains will provide you with all the protein, iron, calcium and fiber you need and a wide variety of other essential vitamins, complex carbs, antioxidants and other 3+ syllable words.
My favorite part of the reading was the list of vegan athletes! I thought giving up meat had something to do with my shin splints. Turns out I also have pencil legs to match my pencil arms. There are really enough nutrients from a vegan diet that can even sustain:
Carl Lewis - Olympian with 10 medals and some killer quads
Mac Danzig - Ultimate Fighter and ultimate lover of animals
Scott Jurek - Ultramarathoner, including a 152-miler [wtf?!]
John Salley - NBA-er; proving vegans aren't just self-righteous white people
Dave Scott - Six-time Ironman Winner [again, what the h - e double hockey sticks, don't you hate when ppl really say that?]
If you don't feel completely unaccomplished and lame after reading that list, I applaud you on your very high, but misguided, self-esteem.
So who's coming to the baby shower?
No, seriously, I usually shower after I give birth to food babies.
What? I crossed the line again, didn't I? Ooh... shit.
I have a confession to make: I almost just cried about not being able to find my vegan butter in the fridge.
It's not that I love the vegan butter. I almost cried more out of the frustration of not being able to find what I was looking for than for the actual butter. I think my personal black hole has moved from the dyer to the fridge.
I feel like I should tell you that I actually didn't cry because I didn't want to make that possibility a reality and something I'd have to live with for the rest of my life. I believe that brings my maturity level up to a... 3.5?
Today's reading [for those who have the book, probably no one, I'm actually a day behind] was all about animal protein and how it's soooo bad for you. Apparently all animals cause cancer. Okay, I generalize. But Kathy Freston is a huge pusher for the vegan, plant-based diet on the basis that you can get the same amount of protein from plants that you would get from animals, but without all the saturated fat, cholesterol, mercury and hormones found in the variety of animals we like to put between two sesame seed buns.
Who wouldn't want to eat that?! It's so cute!
Kathy Freston, of course, chooses all evidence that supports her agenda. Yes, it obviously makes sense that people with high protein diets are more prone to being fat. That's called America. But I just am not at a place where I can rule out eating animals all together. Why would God make pigs so delicious if they weren't meant to be eaten? God made rocks, which are not tasty, so we don't eat them. But if they're pretty, we wear them instead. God made animals so we can eat them and wear them! Genius!
If we didn't eat the animals, the world would be overpopulated by dolphins and dogs.
But seriously, I stopped eating meat a few months ago, not for my health [but now it is for my health, too] but for the sake of the planet and to boycott an industry that is producing and selling diseased and toxic meat that is so far beyond what God intended it to be. And because I now drive a Prius, which means I have to do all things green. I think that's written in the Owner's Manual somewhere.
Also, let me take a step back and clearly say that, no, I am not God. So I can't really project what God did or did not intend for us to do with the animals, besides put sweaters on them when they are cold.
It just seems every 5 hours there is a different study about what we can't / should / need to eat / abstain from / vomit / grow / make at home because it's healthy / harmful / wasteful / fun / and what Oprah does.
This particular article was featured on CNN today about eating unprocessed foods, and it triggered my friend Ali to send me this lovely rant, entitled Can I just have lunch?
I feel like I have done a lot with my eating habits in the last year. I mean, I eat actual meals that consist of more than chips or mac n' cheese, I spent over 100 at whole foods on Friday, I drink liquefied kale+water every morning, I listen to podcasts from nutritionists who tell me I need to be drinking high protein shakes and do drink them even though they taste like liquid frosting (wait till that CNN amish lady hears about that!), I watch Food Inc., I cut out meat, I read all day about if I'm going to grow a third boob from the insane amount of estrogen we intake because we cut out meat, I reintroduce meat but only super expensive good for you kind and only a few times a week, I read about how we can't really know the long term effects of soy products yet, I watch the cove, I cut out dolphins which I never ate, which means I should cut out all fish which means I should cut out meat, I read about caffeine intake, nutrition labels, naturopathy, homeopathy sleep, gluten, flax seeds, toxins, my liver, plastic containers, microwaves, hydrogenated oils, I familiarize myself with local farms, orchards and butchers and their practices, I read the blog of the guy at the Oregonian who is documenting his new 1 month vegan lifestyle, I put unfiltered cranberry juice in my water, I grind up ginger and put it in water, I read ingredient labels of 5,790 different fake meat products, I take 1000 mg of calcium a day and 500 iu of vitamin D -- not to mention my multivitamin that makes me sick, I pee all day because I'm supposed to drink 15x my body weight in water a day, I drink tea that tastes like shit because someone somewhere in the world says dandelion (yeah that weed that ruins your grass) root is good for turning you into superwoman, I listen, I watch documentaries, I read books, I research claims, I doubt, I believe x 4000 because everyone is bothering me... and in the meantime... my life has become 100% about me. And although I am refining my shit so there is enough food for the whole world and for the bettering of the environment and to not support all these unethical farms and to encourage organic foods in hopes of someday driving down the price and for my health that has been corrupted by fast food nation... Seems my whole mind, all my time and my paycheck has gone into my fridge, into my stomach and then into the toilet. Now before anyone jumps up to give me the Nobel peace prize I would just like to say with humility... you're welcome third world.
And I thought I was the frustrated one with the missing vegan butter. [Btw, if found, you will be awarded with a hug and steamed broccoli.]
At the end of the day, we don't have all the answers as to what is right and what is wrong. That's is the flip side of having freedom, my friend.
Especially with this Internet, you are bound to find an article that supports whatever you decide to do. Honestly, for the comment I made before about how we don't eat rocks, I originally wanted to say sand. But it turns out you can eat sand and it's good for you!
However you choose to use your freedom to discover (or not, your choice) what sits well with you as far as how you live, eat, breathe, pee, I hope that your path leads to a place of inner peace rather than frustration.
Just don't try to eat my dog. She's old, has bad breath and sometimes poops herself. Basically, what I'll be in 60 years.
Email me if you'd like the recipe for this dog cake. It's a crowd pleaser.
I love musicals. I actually wrote a college application essay on how I wanted my life to be a musical and what it would be like. I didn't get into that school.
Here is one of my favorite scenes from the hit Broadway Musical Rent:
I used to have a boss named Mark and in my mind I would always sing, "Maaark, Maark, I'm Mark!"
What I actually do sing aloud to people is, "How do you feel today?" I know it's a little bit annoying, but it's just so catchy. Isn't that how musicals work?
Why do we need to ask ourselves how we feel? Shouldn't we already know? I mean, I am living in my own body and everything seems to be connected and functioning. For now, at least.
At tonight's weekly meeting with my volunteers, we discussed one of the many avenues we can walk in our journey of discernment. Our reading suggests we ask ourselves,
"What is my body telling me?" Our bodies are "fearfully and wonderfully made" (Psalm 129:14) by God with their own hidden wisdom. For some of us, our bodies signal the health or toxicity of a path we are taking. A pain in the back may herald injury to our spirit. A knot in the stomach can speak of still greater constrictions in the soul. Conversely, the unexpected surge of energy, the sudden return of lightness in our stride, may speak the loudest yes! we will hear to our puzzling over whether to move in a particular direction.
You would think your mind is the highest source of wisdom and what you should follow when it comes to decision-making. And there are times we feel its best to follow our emotions. Sometimes that really doesn't work out for me.
So what about following what our bodies tell us?
Like the times you're in a creepy alley and all the hairs on your neck stand up. Or when someone comes to you and says, "We need to talk," and your gut churns and you feel like you might shit your pants.
There are those times you literally can't stop smiling over something really that has happened to you. Or when Jim gives his speech at his rehearsal dinner and says,
Four years ago I was just a guy who had a crush on a girl who had a boyfriend. And I had to do the hardest thing I ever had to do, which was just to wait... For a really long time that’s all I had. Little moments with a girl who saw me as a friend. And a lot of people told me I was crazy to wait this long for a date with a girl who I worked with, but I think, even then I knew, I was waiting for my wife.
And Pam takes the mental picture. How you can cry out of joy and love for this beautiful couple?
Definitely just laughed and cried. Anywho...
So there are definitely things out there, besides this awesome cleanse, that makes us feel good and helps us feel alive, joyful and grateful for life. Multiple studies out there provide evidence that joy and happiness leads to a healthier life.
Today's Wellness Cleanse reading asks me to list 7 things that I can do this week that I love and that make me happy. Here they are:
1. Having a cup of coffee in the morning 2. Traveling around the world 3. Having long talks with Anderson Cooper about the world and life
Okay, this one's for reals:
Conversing with best friends that are far away. Good thing we're not blind, or we'd never get to see each other.
Listening to Taylor Swift. Yes, somehow I still have the emotional maturity of a 15 year old. Hence, why it's not the wisest for me to follow my emotions.
Getting new clothes. Don't judge me. I haven't purchased non-Saints and non-sports apparel since... my birthday, I think. That's huge for me.
Watching a rom-com, preferably starring Colin Firth.
Singing Jimmy Eat World at the top of my lungs while driving around town
Taking a few minutes to reflect on how blessed I truly am
Spending time with awesome friends and making them laugh (at me)
What are some things you love that you can incorporate into your day this week?
The next time I see you, I will sing to your face, "How do you feel today?"
